Regrets

A kind stranger I met
We kept talking and he said
You know she was beautiful
I only have few regrets
I should have kissed her more
Should have loved her sore
Should have hugged till dusk
Keep smelling her musk
Should have played all nights
Visited far away sites
Should have laughed on her jokes
Gave all till I was broke
Should have smiled when she blushed
Made her calm when she rushed
She was all I had
I just worked instead
Now she is gone I am alone
In this world on my own
Have kids and such
But (with tears in his eyes), he said
I miss her so so much
Then we drank in her memory
He said don’t feel sorry
I am counting my days
In all possible ways
Waiting to meet her again
Body loses and I gain
My freedom to fly
The day I die
We become one again

Pièce de résistance

thought passes through
light years of contemplation
ingrained in the fabric of the universe
after billion books were written, read and memorised
all in the name of love of I
it is never you,
if it is, it is never true
day will come and death will knock
the redemption door will stay shut
until I is left in a thick, dreadful rut
and a journey commences
to discover the soul denied
how body concealed and heart lied
life beyond self, sitting on the shelf
the first, middle and the last book
of devotion, selfless emotion, agape
distant evolution, of kind
not considered worthy of mention, before
what could have been the intention
of such worthless, clueless thought,
opinions of sages sought,
to defeat hope, desire of something before I
I commences scouting, shouting abuse
at green shoots, inkling of new,
uncharted galaxy, time bends, skew
perception, accept reception of end
lend a hand, be that of destiny
annihilate I, old adversary, good bye

Voyage

Heart descends
Deeper and deeper
reaching nadir, end of abyss
Searches for your smell
Nothing around, just silence of solitude
and a faint heart beat,
a rhythmic drum
Beating you, you, you
can you hear, my silent screams
find me, bind me, slit my wrist
Blood gushing through
Calling only you
Return I beg
before death is due

I blame death for my disappearance

Waiting, wanting embrace, touch
Eyes at the never opening door
Movement has ceased, air is still
Blamed stare, ransacked store
with million days, a moment is a year,
incessant tears, eyes tired and sore
you wait, and wait and wait and wait
first love longing, then hate and hate
why taking so long, such pain to bear
heart keep calling, why don’t you hear

I hear it loud, I hear it clear
I reach, beseech for you my dear
simple inconvenience with señor Azrael
came out of nowhere caught my throat
a fight broke, a tiff of sort
he punched my soul, stopped my heart
now body in a morgue, soul aimless wander
heavens bound, he wants me to surrender
I will not leave! without seeing you
a hug, a kiss, a good bye too
my lifeless heart still beats for you
my love is pure, my love is true
I wish I would stop falling through
and open that door, look at thee
that smile, that face, those eyes I see
I long, belong to your one soul
your touch, redemption in the universe whole

Placement and pain

your coloured blanket
still lies at the same place
years have passed
unable to remove
you or your blanket
from its rightful place
heart of the room or
Soul of mine
still feel the warmth
of your blanket and you
Life is fickle, death is true
still, why it has to so cruel

bathe we shall

water cleanses birth
readies purifies death
cutting with a lathe
gods came to bathe
one by one,
blue skies, sun
Sol, Orcus, Liber
Janus, Jupiter, Saturn
Genius, Mercury, Apollo,
Neptune, Mars, Vulcan,
Luna, Ceres, Tellus,
Minerva, Diana, Venus
prayed in nature’s girth
in maddening maddening earth

When shiny things lose lustre

Born with a
diamond crusted
platinum adorned,
silver spoon

Raised by virtuosos,
masters of fame
Tricks of the trade
by best in the game

Presents always
glitter and gold
all shiny new
Nothing ever old

Life has been kind,
too kind always
Nights been generous
Sunny all days

One fine day
age arrives
energy evaporates
body survives

all limbs injured
every bone hurts
used to be dames
now death flirts

presents still shiny
chests full of gold
all lose lustre
when we feel old

Ashes

Dust and ashes
Reminds the end
beginnings, pretend
heaven send
Or was it hell
Time will tell
What is to there to sell
soul sold
heart under hammer
Can’t speak a word
Stammer stammer
Amend your words
Correct grammar
it won’t change the script
Decrypt the message
Open the passage
Time to go
End the lust
of eternal life
Going is must
Ashes and dust
Where is the coffin
Lay it to rest
Ashes and dust
and gust, takes it away
to deep dark
unknown valleys
spread last remains
of bones and flesh
comprehend
powerless being

Stung

those were the days
when we were young
before mortality stung

Sight and sound of a cemetery

Are they
resting in peace
Or crying for help
down and deep

souls in heaven
rot of bones
getting rewards
buried in stones

Suffering
Hell and fire
rivers of milk
dames of desire

Repent repent
Emptiness
Feel guilty
Just nonsense

Enjoy till you die
Or refrain
Conflicting thoughts
Can’t abstain

One reality
Clear and sound
Death around
Death abound

AB 19 December, 2013
Photography: AB August 2013