In the tunnel again

After a long time
I entered that tunnel again
Memories are not very kind
Squishing you under their boots
Planted thousand trees without fruit
And my heart was the cheap loot
Was trampled on, crushed uncountable times
Till there was satisfaction, clock chimes
Thirteen and fifth quarter of the hour
Tears replaced water in the shower
Guards ready to fatally shoot from the tower
When I escape emotions prison
with million justifiable reasons
still considered life ending treason
I am forced to enter that tunnel again
And I cry uncontrollably on the first step
No one to console, just me and darkness
lack of colours, mind’s starkness
and ignoring, unobserving, faceless passerby
Unable to lie, to myself or any of you

31 thoughts on “In the tunnel again”

  1. I know somewhat of what it is like within the tunnel of ones thoughts.. The good thing is, that there is Light at the end.. it just depends upon if we want to walk out to the other end, or just sit within the darkness…

    Facing our own selves is the darkest tunnel of all…. But once we have.. we begin to see we are the only ones with the Power to Switch on the Light within it..

    Love and Blessings AB… have a Uplifting and Peaceful weekend

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It sounds like you are in a “Dark night of the soul”. Beautifully expressed and felt. I too am walking there at this time in my life. Wonderful, painful, exhilarating, devastating. At times only darkness and emptiness. You are not alone. Soul making, purifying, requires fire. God is with us.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Your readers are with you and will help you out of the tunnel this time. Be aware that you have a talent with words and have a deep well of emotions and memories to draw on. Write it out until you reach the end of the tunnel where you will find appreciation and joy again.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Very kind, thank you so much, I am very well, I write what my heart desires and yesterday it longed for a melancholy verse and the brain delivered accordingly πŸ˜€

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You are very kind, and I thank you for those absolutely wonderful soothing words of support! It is not my intention to be disingenuous just creativity takes me to avenues even I did not know existed 😊

        Liked by 2 people

  4. You know, life is a funny thing. How funny that I would stumble across a blog whose last post resonates with me so deeply. I’m glad I’ve stumbled upon your blog and this post, to be more specific. You’ve spoken the words of my soul, or at least the state that it’s in right now. Thanks for sharing.

    xxo Carly

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I have been thinking all day of what to say. I remember you once wrote a poem for me and now I write a poem for you in sympathy with your sadness:

    Blue dΓ©jΓ  vu
    Old torment is new
    Bad memories
    Beat me
    Black and blue
    My heart is bruised
    My mind is confused
    By trauma
    Too deep to share
    And sorrow
    That I alone must bear.

    I hope you find your way out of the tunnel soon, AB.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so your wonderful thoughts and amazing soothing words! I am very well, just the heart desired a sad tune and I delivered 😊 have a wonderful beautiful Sunday dear friend!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome, AB. I am glad that you are well and that this is not an autobiographical poem. πŸ™‚ You certainly did a good job of delivering a sad tune. I would have felt bad if you were actually sad and I did not respond to you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for your kind words. πŸ™‚ I think I have become more compassionate toward other people because of my own suffering and the suffering of other people who are dear to me like my father. Each year he gets weaker, and I know one day he will pass away.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. My dear we all have to move out of this world, and it breaks our heart when we see our loved ones go through the same fate in front of us. I wish you peace, understanding and courage to go through life. I wish you contentment and care. Take really good care of yourself and your family. Kindest regards, AB

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I know you are right about the inevitability of death. It will happen one day to all of us even if we do not like to think about it. Even though I have already lost my mother and many pets over the years, the thought of losing another loved one is still not easy to take.

        Both of my parents became diabetic as they got older, so I am trying to take care of myself because I hope to avoid becoming like them. I know I don’t get enough sleep, but I do exercise regularly and try to be careful about what I eat most of the time. Some of my relatives and people at my job probably think I am a weirdo because I turn down fast food, large spreads of party food, or junk food snacks that they offer to me. Most of them probably do not understand how debilitating diabetes can be if it is uncontrolled. For example, my father cannot drive anymore and has trouble walking without assistance because of the poor circulation and nerve damage in his legs and feet caused by his diabetes. What makes me sad and a little frustrated is that he won’t change his bad eating habits and he does not always listen to the advice of his doctors. My father has many admirable qualities, but he can be stubborn sometimes.
        Thank you for your beautiful wishes and uplifting words of encouragement, AB. I value our friendship and the special connection we have through our words and poetry. Please take care of yourself too. I have enough things to worry about as it is. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Apologies that I have not responded to your comments for few days, I was travelling and when got back had quite a busy social calendar πŸ™‚ I will certainly take care of myself and same advice apply to you as well!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. That is okay, AB. I understand. Both of us have lives outside of our WordPress blogs. I hope you enjoyed your travels and social visits.

        I am glad to hear that you will take care of yourself. I am trying to do the same. I am making an effort to get more sleep and not stay awake long hours during the night like a vampire. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

      7. Thank you for being concerned about me. What a sweet thought to think of me as a nightingale or a firefly instead of a vampire! πŸ™‚ I have not seen a firefly since I lived in Florida many years ago, and they were a delight to see. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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